


Darwin Would Be Proud (and Also Really Freaked Out)

by orphan_account



Category: Cat Evolution Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-19
Updated: 2014-11-19
Packaged: 2018-02-26 07:51:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2644013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A pet store finds itself with a very, er, unique cat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darwin Would Be Proud (and Also Really Freaked Out)

“Not again.”

Jake sighs as the strange cat propels himself on stabilizers and consumes yet another fellow cat through the black hole in his chest. Only a few days ago, the cat had been a completely normal kitten, running and jumping and whatnot, but it had become obvious that something was terribly, horribly wrong when Killian, who locks up the store every night, discovered the cat eating the other kittens and then watched as the cat stood on his hind legs and began to stretch.

No one had believed him then, of course, because, well, who would? But this sort of absurd fantasy turns fact when you see a cat grow a second head and a massive mouth on its abdomen that breathes fire.

“Is he _still_ eating cats?” Julie asks as she passes by, carrying an unopened box of cat food tins. Judging by the date stamped on the cardboard, the food has been expired for about two days.

“Yep,” Jake says, sighing again. “I thought he would be done with his 'evolving' by now, but...”

“But it looks like there's more to come,” she finishes for him.

He nods. “Yeah. Much more.”

Julie returns without the box a few seconds later and stands next to him. They watch the cat open a black hole and suck up an unfortunate feline in a sickened yet fascinated silence.

“You know, I've always wondered where those cats come from,” she muses.

“ _That's_ what you're worried about?” Jake says. “Not the fact that the cat somehow has stabilizers in his paws or the fact that he can _freaking make black holes—_ ”

“No, no, of course that's worrying; it's disturbing,” she quickly says. “It's just that we've stopped selling cats—because, you know, they get eaten—but somehow _these_ cats keep appearing out of nowhere to be devoured by _this_ cat. How and why would that happen?”

Jake thinks about that for a long while. “Maybe God doesn't exist,” he finally states. “That would explain why.”

“Or maybe God just has a horrible sense of humor,” Julie replies. “That would explain how _and_ why.”

Right after she says that, the cat transforms into a massive hulking thing with multiple limbs and bits of cats seemingly sprouting out of him.

Jake heaves another sigh. “Wonderful,” he mutters.

“Denise and Killian were saying how we should call some scientists about this,” Julie says after a pause. “It might be the best way to deal with him, if we could find out what's causing his evolving...”

Jake glances back at the cat. The cat scoops up a kitten with the paw between his legs, and the kitten disappears in what Jake uncertainly assumes is a mouth. Then the cat looks back at him almost pleadingly, his eyes piercing deep into Jake's as if asking to not let strange scientists take him away and observe him scientifically with their tools and math equations and nerdy glasses.

“No,” Jake says, turning to Julie. “No, I get the feeling he'd rather stay here. And besides, how much worse can it get?”

Julie tentatively grins at him. “Right.”

 


End file.
